Soju (소주) is the elixir of nightmares. The national beverage of South Korea, soju – depending on who you ask – is a spirit made from either rice, sweet potato, the sweat from an old Korean man’s socks, or pure unbridled hatred. During my first year in this country, I went from being knocked on my ass by a single bottle of the stuff, to drinking two or three bottles several times a week, and finally to being able to fade one bottle in a single sip. Nowadays, my experiences with this beverage are few and far between, as part of my commitment to put my drunken days of youth to bed (or bury them in a deep, deep grave, if you prefer that imagery).
As I mentioned in my last post, a single bottle of soju is so cheap (about $.80USD) that the drink would lay waste to lesser societies, were it available in other countries for the same price. Luckily, I’ve never found a bottle of soju in the US for less than $6-8. At that price, you might as well by a six-pack. This isn’t to say that public inebriation isn’t a massive problem in South Korea. It is. Oh, my dear sweet Buddha, it most certainly is. Passing out in public here in the good old ROK (that’s Republic of Korea) is such a common phenomenon that some intrepid foreigners have seen fit to create a blog documenting the many sightings of the drunken Korean (Latin: blitzikus outofhis mindicus) in the wild.
Granted, you may never witness this phenomenon yourself if you teach anywhere outside of Seoul, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that Koreans like to get totally wasted, and often. My co-teacher has informed me on numerous occasions that the average Korean sleeps for about three hours a night, and many convenience stores in my town stock a canned drink called Dr. Hangover. Would you ever find such a thing in a society that didn’t like to get down and dirty? Probably not.
Now, you might think that the drinking life of the average Korean gets mighty boring, what with the whole “consuming the same rice alcohol every night” deal they have going. Well, you’d be wrong. In their infinite wisdom, the drinking gods have declared that soju can be imbibed in one of several forms:
- Soju (소주). The original recipe is easy to consume. Just pour it into a shot glass, scream 곰배 (gombae, the Korean equivalent of “Cheers!”), and wake up several hours later with your pants around your ankles, laying it a puddle of what is probably bits of sick (hint: it’s yours).
- Somaek (소맥). Not to be outdone by their neighbors, the Japanese, Koreans created their own version of the sake bomb. Fill a shot glass with soju, drop it into a glass of beer, and call your friend in the morning to let him know that under no circumstances is he to post that video of you singing “Hey Jude” with your arm around a woman three times your age.
- Poktanju (폭탄주). My personal favorite way to consume soju, poktanju is a shot of soju and a shot of cola dropped into a glass of beer. It doesn’t sound appetizing, but the flavors combine to make something so delicious that you forget you’re drinking Korean alcohol.
- Soju Cocktail. The soju cocktail is the drink of choice for young women in Korea. It’s soju blended with ice and fruit (kiwi being a popular option) to create an elixir that is nutritious on the outside and rife with empty calories and liver destroying alcohol on the inside.
Soju is such an important part of Korean culture that there are rules for its pouring and consumption, rules you’ll need to master if you’re to survive the first week of school ritual known as the “teacher dinner.” Here are some handy rules to help you make it through:
- Don’t pour for yourself. Korean is a Confucian society. Confucian societies are group-centered. Thus, you shouldn’t concern yourself with your own empty glass. It will be refilled. Trust me. Rather, keep an eye on the shot glasses of the people sitting on either side of you. Are those glasses empty? Fill them.
- Use your right hand when pouring. Your left hand should be touching the inside of your right arm at about elbow level. Pretend you’re holding up an imaginary sleeve.
- Don’t look at elders when you drink or when they are drinking. Again, this is a Confucian society. Status in social groups is decided by age and, unfortunately, gender. When someone older than you is drinking their shot of soju, do not look at them. Simply turn your head away. The same goes for when you drink. Turn your head away from the elders at the table and drink.
If you’re not a drinker, it would still be in your best interest to have at least one shot of soju at the teacher dinner. Recovering alcoholics – or those who simply can’t abide the taste of liquor on their lips – can opt to fill their shot glasses with cola.
It’s nigh on impossible to spend a year here without encountering this dealer of horrible hangovers. Arm yourself with the information in this post and go forth into the Land of the Morning Calm with confidence. Yes, you, too, can drink soju like a champ – with a bit of practice, of course. Just don’t end up with your mug on Black Out Korea.